While shopping in a
very popular store, I noticed a family consisting of a man a woman who was
pushing the buggy with what appeared to be a young toddler inside, and a young
boy (kindergarten age) walking along side dad, holding his hand. I noticed that
the little boy was very vocal, he asked his dad a lot of questions about the merchandise
on the shelves, after a few questions went by, I could tell by dad’s tone, he
was getting a little irritated, because he also asked the boy, to take a break
from talking, and just enjoy the trip out of the house.
On the same aisle,
there was a woman pushing a wheel chair with a teen-age child wearing a helmet.
Facing the shelf, I began looking for an item, I felt a tug on my shirt, and a
really loud snorting sound, as I turn around, the woman pushing the wheel chair
apologizes, and quietly says; “this is my son, he is autistic, and has drop
down seizures, he did not mean any harm”. I looked at the lady, smiled and told
her, I have worked with children of all abilities for many years, and that I
was an educator, I told her that there has been countless times, I have had to apologize
for my children, thinking the isles in the stores were “awesome” race ways. We
both laughed, I stated that he seemed like a very happy young man, and excited
to be shopping with his mom, I told her it was no need to apologize, and asked
her if I could introduce myself , and my girls to her son.
As we moved across
the store, the family I spoke about earlier, ended up on the aisle with the
woman and her son. I could hear the little boy ask the woman if her son played
hockey, and why does he have that big helmet on? The young boy quickly asked
the lady, where her sons other arm was hiding. Before the woman could answer
the child, the woman pushing the child in the buggy apologizes, and I could
hear the man tell his family they needed to hurry or they would be late. What I
failed to mention, was that the woman had lost her husband a year ago in a car
accident they were all involved in, the woman lost sight in one eye, and her
son lost one of his arms.
The messages I feel
were communicated by the families’ response to the child, may have been appropriate
to them, because they could have possibly felt embarrassed by their young child’s
answers, or possibly they were embarrassed for the child in the wheel chair.
By not allowing the
child to express himself through questions, and not allowing the mother of the
child in the wheel chair to answer, there was the message of; having one arm is
abnormal, it is bad, or not okay to want to know why the child is “differently
abled, and that it is something that should not be talked about.
The message this also sends to children, is
that all people are the same, and no one is allowed to be different. When we
ask questions we can really get to know a person’s story, if they are willing
to share it. This young boy did not appear to be afraid of the child in the
wheel chair, which leads me to believe, he was genuinely interested in knowing
why a child not far from his age is wearing a helmet, why this child only had
one arm, and why this child not far from his age, is riding in something that
looks totally different from the buggy his mother is pushing.
Children are aware of differences in color, language,
gender, and physical ability at a very young age. Through my course of study, I
have read many research studies about the process of identity and attitude development,
based on the facts that children learn by observing the differences and
similarities among people and by absorbing the spoken and unspoken messages
about those differences.
While learning about
differently-abled children/adults in the classroom, an anti-bias educator could
display a variety of photographs of non-ambulatory individuals, children that
wear glasses, children with physical differences, and photos of children
helping other children that may need help waking, or standing. Literature is a
great way to help with awareness and understanding, in addition to meaningful
discussions about the stories.
